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Thursday, 30 June 2011

  • Change is in the air.

    Friends are married. Grad school is about to begin. My relationship still confuses me. The weather is hot. My mother has a new boyfriend. And the list goes on and on.

    I still hurt sometimes. I wish I could figure out how to make it never have happened.

    The anger inside still gets a reprive every now and then.

    But anger isn't really an emotion--it's more like a secondary emotion.

    Anger is typically caused from frustration, hurt, tiredness, etc.

    Anger is not to blame. We are to blame.

    I'll figure it out one day. Ive still got a lot of living to do. All in due time.

Monday, 21 June 2010

  • My social life tells me to forget what happened and move on. However, it is never quite that simple.

    I feel like my past has been a great teacher.

    A woman who fills the shoes of the greatest philosophers.

    I can't help but be scared. I cannot help it.

    I try to let it go, but I just can't.

    The sun is setting. I think I'll go watch it float on by.

    Funny how we accept some things to come and go. I guess it is because we know the sun will always rise again.

    We should know that there is always a chance. Always a hope. Always a time.

    I don't know if any of this makes any sense, but it does to me.

    I'm ready for the coast. It should be a wondrous and much needed vacation

Monday, 24 May 2010

  • Impossible.

    A pretty useless word.

    It gets the best of us at the worst of times.

    You love me so much that you kiss away my tears.

    You scratch my back until I fall asleep.

    You step out of your comfort zone just to make me smile.

    Was it impossible?

    I used to think so.

    And sometimes I still do.

    It's part of my flawed self.

    I'll be forever heartbroken.

    Soon will be 8 years.

Sunday, 18 April 2010

  • i am damaged at best-- as you have already figured out.

    i am not a whole person; I have tiny bits of myself strewn all across this world.

    And that's okay.

    I like to think the things I have lost have added some meaning to someone else.

    i dwell. I have memories. I'm the way I'm supposed to be.

    I was made to remember.

    However, i was not made. I am a process.

    Made things have a finiteness to them, and i do not.

    I hope to never be finished.

    i hope to keep being damaged-- because I would rather be damaged than damage.

    This is my flaw.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

  • I look around and see everything. It's all real according to my senses.
    But I still feel like something is missing.
    Something is still unexplained.
    The rules of society have left everything tainted. It's tainted my brain. My soul. My way of thinking. Even my way of believing.
    A nasty little film to cover up the truth.
    To play my memories for me.
    It's all an image. There is a master sense now.

chittyglamour

  • Visit chittyglamour's Xanga Site
    • Name: Alexis
    • Birthday: 8/6/1989
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/27/2004

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About Me

  • "The thing about life is that you must survive. Life is going to be difficult, and dreadful things will happen. What you do is move along, get on with it and be tough. Not in the sense of being mean to others, but being tough with yourself and making a deadly effort not to be defeated." -- Katherine Hepburn

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