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Thursday, 12 November 2009

  • Graduate School.

    Let me begin ranting about the terrors you entail.

    Doctorate program or Master's program? Either way these are the things that it is going to be:

    First: You are going to consume my life. Translation--  you will simultaneously become my best friend, significant other, and boss. An average of 70 hours a week of work? That's barely enough time left to sleep.

    Second: You are going to determine my the rest of my working career. If I want to teach, I need to do well and stand out.

    Third: My only key to success is going to be perseverance. Enough said.

    Where do I want to go? No clue.

    Who do I want to work with? No idea.

    What do I want to research? Stuff.

    I got a lot of figuring out left to do. Maybe I should just concentrate on my homework and scholarship application for now.

    Sounds like a plan to me.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

  • "But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soul."

    I've experienced a lot of change recently.

    Life never seems to remain the same.

    Sometimes it's okay.

    Either way it is inevitable.

    Some days I sit around and remember what things used to be like.

    I remember the happiness, the silly arguments, the smell.

    The smell is what really gets me.

    Just one little whiff of a clean t-shirt can bring everything back--plain as day.

    We talk sometimes.

    I feel a little guilty but mostly at peace.

    The guilt can be attributed to other things, I'm sure.

    I miss my friends. I miss them but not in a needy way. It's more of a longing to experience the good ole days.

    My past and I are finally good friends :)

    It's funny how that works.

Sunday, 25 October 2009

  • Return to Xanga

    "When you choose independence over relationship, you become a danger to each other. Others become objects to be manipulated or managed for your own happiness. Authority, as you usually think of it, is merely an excuse the strong use to make others conform to what they want."-- Young

    Can't we all just get along?

    I can feel all the drama heading my way.

    I'm going to stand tall this time. I won't back down.

    I'm a different girl this time around.

    I'm just a little bit stronger.


    People are still people despite of their beliefs, actions, thoughts, and dreams. We all have our own little story. My thing is... Hardly anyone is ever willing to actually listen to them. *sigh*

    God is good. He is beautiful. He is infinite. I will never be able to understand Him. This is why I love Him and trust Him so..

    I'm not going to ever stop asking.

Tuesday, 08 September 2009

  • Tonight's topic was humility.

    Do I live my life for me or for God? Do my concerns circle around me or Him?
    Do I do things for God or do I allow him to do things through me?

    I'm not a humble person. I compare myself to other people all the time. I use other people to make myself feel better. I think to myself "Wow, I'm glad I'm not as judgmental as him." As terrible as that sounds... I do it. I try not to but it happens.

    I was driving around last night thinking (I tend to do my best thinking while driving around aimlessly) and came to a realization. I have always wanted to go skydiving but I'm not sure if I will be able to actually do it. I mean to actually take that step out of the airplane into nothing and fall. Just fall. I know once I start falling it will be the best feeling in the world and the greatest adrenaline rush ever, but the initial step is going to be the hardest. Then, tonight while listening to the lesson on humility I thought about my skydiving fears. I'm afraid to take that step. I'm afraid to let go of everything and allow God to have complete control. I think this is why I compare myself to other people because it allows me to retain some sort of control. The first step is going to be the hardest but I know that everything after that will be the best thing that could ever happen to me.

    It's funny how things in life happen.

    Anyways... I just wanted to share my thoughts.

    Tonight's the night when the sinners and the saints,
    Two worlds collide,
    In a glorious display.

Saturday, 29 August 2009

chittyglamour

  • Visit chittyglamour's Xanga Site
    • Name: Alexis
    • Birthday: 8/6/1989
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/27/2004

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About Me

  • "The thing about life is that you must survive. Life is going to be difficult, and dreadful things will happen. What you do is move along, get on with it and be tough. Not in the sense of being mean to others, but being tough with yourself and making a deadly effort not to be defeated." -- Katherine Hepburn

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